Forgive Me Please I'm Still Learning
by merryfortune
Summary: Peridot has come to recognise that she has some form of attraction towards Pearl and believes that if those unusual feelings are to ever amount to anything, she ought to apologise for the derogatory things she has said in earnest towards Pearl.


**Forgive Me Please; I'm Still Learning**

The upper level of the barn was dark but not quiet. The television's brightness was all the way up and although that was very distracting, it was still quite easing to doze off. Steven already had. He was cuddled up between Pearl and Peridot. He was sleeping heavily, snoring even, and had his head against Pearl's shoulder. She didn't mind. She was idling herself with his hands; admiring how big they were and how soft they were. A healer's hands indeed. She smiled softly.

Peridot noticed. She tried not to notice but it was in these tender moments when she couldn't glue herself to her mindless distractions like television. They were watching some animated film from abroad. Steven had picked it out because he thought Pearl and Peridot could appreciate all the 'archaic, human' flight crafts. He had also hoped it would inspire them both for ideas for their drill.

He had been right. Pearl and Peridot did find themselves appreciating the aesthetic of the 'steampunk' flight crafts. Whether or not it would serve function to them later on tomorrow was yet to be decided.

Peridot coughed. Her cheek's darkened.

Pearl didn't seem to register it.

So, Peridot coughed again.

Pearl lifted her head and she slumped gently towards Peridot, leaning over Steven. Her forearm resting atop his head; amid his tight coils of soft, curly hair.

'Yes, Peridot?' Pearl asked. Her voice the slightest whisper.

'I – I, um…' Peridot stuttered.

'I'm happy to listen.' Pearl smiled and her pale face was even more washed out than usual with the illumination of the television. She looked ethereal and celestial like the cosmos as a result. The Gem atop her forehead – such a great placement in Peridot's opinion; both informed from secondary research and informed by her own primary research – looked like the Moon too.

Should she say it… that she found Pearl to be "pretty"?

Peridot decided against it. She had something else on her mind currently.

'I'm not good at waxing poetic so I'll try to remain blunt.' Peridot mumbled.

'A little quieter please; it's been a big day for Steven. He's not like us. He needs his rest.' Pearl murmured.

Steven snored and he continued to cuddle into Pearl's side. She leaned down and pulled up the blanket. His hands greedily accepted it without thinking and she smiled. Again. She smiled so softly and Peridot wondered.

Could Pearl ever make a face that beautiful for Peridot and Peridot alone?

But Peridot couldn't focus on that. She needed to remain at task.

'I understand.' Peridot said and she brought her voice down lower.

'So, what did you want to tell me?' Pearl asked and she titled her head to the side, a five-degree angle really; ever so slightly. She probably hadn't thought anything of it.

'I want you to forgive me for saying such rude things about you – about Pearls in general. That was bad of me. Forgive me please; I'm still learning. I-If Pearls are to be seen and not heard then Peridots must be heard and not seen. I – I wanted to exert dominance of you and the other Crystal Clods because I was used to being lowly. But I'm no better than any of you; really. If you think about it. Just a Peridot. The maintenance gal. I'm not better than any of you. Not the Permafusion Garnet, not the Hybrid, not the puny Amethyst. And – And definitely not you. You are clever and witty and headstrong and intelligent. F-Forehead Gems forever, right?'

Peridot hadn't meant to ramble but once she opened her mouth, she couldn't close it. Her words mushed up together and she sounded utterly undignified. She had also unwittingly raised her voice so when she finally ran out of things to say, her breath hitched in her neck. She glanced down at Steven but thankfully he was still resting peacefully. Sleeping. Pearl wouldn't get mad at Peridot for waking him because his eyes were still closed and he was still so cutely vulnerable.

Pearl sighed. 'That is awfully nice of you to say… Peridot.' she offered. She spoke awkwardly and Peridot's metaphysical heart sank. It felt not unlike shattering to her and she didn't understand why it was so bittersweet. 'Forehead Gems forever then.' She smiled but not like how she smiled when she spoke of the Hybrid or of the Rose Quartz she served.

Pearl got up and Peridot watched as she unravelled her long legs from beneath her.

'I'm going to go put Steven to bed properly now. We can continue our conversation a bit louder then. I appreciate talking with you Peridot.' Pearl explained as she scooped up the child. She was gentle with him and soon, she and Steven disappeared off into the darkness.

Peridot's eyes fell back to the mindless entertainment. Humans were so dull if they had to invent fictional drama to indulge themselves with. But at the same time… she kind of liked it.

Pearl returned and she sat down next to Peridot. Knees together and way, way too close to Peridot. She placed her hands on either side of her. Her right hand incredibly close to Peridot's left hand. For a singular moment, Peridot felt vulnerable. This was the Terrifying Renegade Pearl of folklore. She shouldn't let herself feel like this and let herself feel unguarded but Pearl disarmed her ever so charmingly that it felt hard not to let that happen.

'So, Peridot, would you like to continue our chat?' Pearl asked. She was still quiet but she was definitely louder than before.

'I – I have nothing more to say.' lied Peridot.

 _You could say she's pretty_.

Peridot snuffed that snide voice inside of her quite quickly.

'Are you certain?' Pearl asked.

'O-Of course I'm certain. I'm a Peridot.' Again, Peridot lied.

'You don't have to be "a" Peridot. You can be "the" Peridot. You can be "your own" Peridot, if you so wish.' Pearl murmured. Her eyes drifted away from the television, away from Peridot. She didn't want to be too forceful of her ideology but it would be fair. Peridot was constantly shoving her Homeworld ideology down the throats of the Crystal Gems.

'That's how I so wish…' Pearl continued, under her breath and somehow that was very inspiration.

'Then… Then I just want to say that I think your pretty. Your Gem is brilliantly placed and I like your nose. Blue is also a pretty colour on you. You. Are. Pretty. There! I said it!' Peridot snapped. Her fingers bunched up under her palm. She shook. Her face flushed a darker green and her vision blurred but she maintained a direct eye contact with Pearl nonetheless.

Pearl smiled a strange, squiggly smile. Her white as snow cheeks became akin to the blue of the early morning sky.

'Th-Thank you, Peridot. That is an extremely nice thing of you to say.' Pearl stuttered; unused to such a strange compliment; nice things said angrily.

Peridot looked away from Pearl, her lips in a cat-like pout, and her she loosened her hand. Pearl giggled, a hand over her mouth politely, and with her other hand, she laid it over Peridot's. Her touch was tender and appreciated.

'Forehead Gems forever.' Pearl added affirmingly.


End file.
